The Bible teaches us to guard our hearts because everything we do flows from it (NIV Version).

Proverbs 4:23 NLT

Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.

I wanted to start out by listing a few emotions that can arise when facing hard times. These emotions can feel and be very real but are also emotions that we MUST guard our hearts from. 

HARDS TIMES MAY LEAVE YOU WITH THE FEELING OF :

REJECTION – While experiencing the feeling of rejection we may handle this rejection the wrong way. There are also times where we think we are being rejected when in reality we are not. Thoughts like, you are and will always be a person that others reject, that there is something wrong with you, that you are the reason you are going through this hard time are all thoughts that can be a possibility when faced with life’s trials.

Here’s what the Bible says about trials:

John 16:33 NLT

I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.

SELF-PITY – Self-pity can occur when we begin feeling sorry for ourselves, so much so that we reach a point of not being able to move past what we are facing. 

HURT – When facing a trial we can feel hurt by things that wouldn’t normally bother or hurt us.

JEALOUSY – When going through trials the feeling of jealousy towards those that currently have the breakthrough you are believing for can occur.

ANGER – At times this feeling arises because of the length of time you’ve been going through your trial, or because of the reason behind the trial itself. 

FRUSTRATION – You may feel frustrated because your present trial is not what you planned for and it has thrown you for a loop. 

FEELING LOST – Everything can be going smoothly and as soon as difficulty hits, you may feel like you were left to face that difficulty without direction. 

Overall, it is my belief that emotions (good and bad) are heightened due to a trial or the trials we face. It is ok to have these feelings but what is not ok is for us to act, speak or be driven by them. The best way to avoid these feelings is to guard our hearts from them all together. Most of the time this is not the case and we must seek guidance and help to rid ourselves from them. 

The Bible teaches on a few things we should meditate and focus on: 

Philippians 4:8 NLT

And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.

I HAVE LEARNED THAT :

The things you do or what you surround yourself with can either bring you down in the presence of difficulty or help you out of that difficulty. When we are faced with hard times the right thing to do and the right surroundings can easily be confused with the wrong. Here’s a few things I’ve come to learn to AVOID, BE MINDFUL OF and ways I begin to POUR INTO MYSELF when faced with trials. 

AVOID

Specific Settings & People 

Type of People: 

• People that don’t think the best of you.
• Those that don’t want the best for you.
• Those that try to provoke the wrong emotions out of you.
• Those that try to bring you down.
• Those that have the wrong perception of you.

I know that it’s just natural (Genesis 3:9-13) for us not to want anyone to think bad of us and for some of us, we will try really hard to get others to think good things about us, no matter the cost.

Frankly, in the moment of your difficulty or trial, finding the time or energy to try to prove them wrong will exhaust you. The hard time you are facing at the moment can be a make or break situation and being around those that are convinced about viewing you the wrong way can break you and your confidence to get through that hard time. 

Please Note: 

I don’t mean people that KNOW you, like really know you and challenge you to be a better you. This is a different group of people all together, this is a person that I would refer to as iron in our life. 

Proverbs 9:8 NLT

So don’t bother correcting mockers; they will only hate you. But correct the wise, and they will love you.

Who I am referring to are those that you know don’t have your best interest at heart, or those that think they know the details of your life but couldn’t be more wrong or those that judge you based off of their assumptions of you, and those that won’t defend you or represent you well when a conversation is brought up about you. 

Type of Setting:

1 Corinthians 15:33 NLT

Don’t be fooled by those who say such things, for “bad company corrupts good character.”

Don’t feel bad about excusing yourself from a group setting that you know is just not helpful for you to be apart of at the present moment.

• Go to the bathroom (Bathroom Breaks are great if you are at a place you can’t leave, go there to regroup your thoughts, pray, count to 10 and wash your face if needed.)

• If you can leave a place that is not helpful for you and the direction you are going, leave. (don’t feel obligated to make an appearance) 

• Be wise about the invitations you say “yes” to. Places that lead you to do the wrong thing, make you doubt the plan of God for your life, or bring you down are not where you should be at the moment. Say “NO” to the invitation. 

BE MINDFUL

Be Mindful of What You Are Taking In

Proverbs 23:7 NKJV

For as he thinks in his heart, so is he…

• If you’re upset don’t listen to music that makes you more upset. If you are angry don’t listen to music that makes you more angry. 
• Don’t watch things that you are sure will provoke the wrong emotions in you. If you are an emotional wreck at the moment you don’t want to watch a movie that makes you even more of this.
• Read, watch and listen to the things that encourage you to have a greater mindset or things that help you renew your mind and thoughts all together. 
• For Example: I am constantly listening to books that encourage me in the Word of God. When a scripture comes to mind I look it up right away and let that speak to me/my heart instead of what will feed the wrong emotions and thoughts in me. 
• Listen to sermons.
• Listen to music that encourages you to do the right thing.
• Watch movies that are encouraging Ex. Documentary on someone’s life that went from bad to good.
• You want to “take in” what makes you hopeful!
• Not negativity, not judgement, not the side eye, not the “welp, do you!” mentality
• Be mindful of a “DO YOU!” mentality. A “DO YOU!” mentality should probably be avoided when facing trials are when experiencing heightened emotions. The reason I say this is that we’ll be “doing us” from places like self-pity, hurt, jealousy, anger and feeling lost. Rather than doing the things we are SURE we need to be doing in order to GROW through our trial.

  POUR INTO 

Pour Into Yourself

• Ways that we can pour into ourselves is by being 100% honest with ourself about where we are and what we are facing. 
• Assessing your own thoughts is another way to help you gain a balanced mindset towards what you are facing as well as how you can move past it. 

1 Peter 5:8-14 ESV

Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen.

Your trials won’t last forever!

• Give yourself HOPE by reminding yourself of the things you have to be hopeful about. Your future is bright regardless of the things you are facing at the moment.

Genesis 1:31 NLT

Then God looked over all he had made, and he saw that it was very good!

Jeremiah 29:11 NLT

For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

2 Peter 3:9 NLT

The Lord isn’t really being slow about his promise, as some people think. No, he is being patient for your sake. He does not want anyone to be destroyed, but wants everyone to repent.

• Remind yourself about the truth about you! It is true no matter what you are facing! (what God says, the promises He’s made to you, how far you’ve come etc.) 

Genesis 1:26 NLT

Then God said, “Let us make human beings in our image, to be like us. They will reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, the livestock, all the wild animals on the earth, and the small animals that scurry along the ground.”

• Take time to regain your focus, the renewed mindset, goals, who you are, things you need to do to get where you are going.

Romans 12:2 NLT

Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

• Be around those that lift you up, encourage you and challenge you to be the best version of you that you can be. Iron sharpens iron – People that believe and practice the same faith as you. Same world views etc.

Proverbs 27:17 NLT

As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.

Proverbs 18:24 NLT

There are “friends” who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.

• Take advice from those you’d be happy to trade lives with. Those that are excelling the right way in the areas you’d like to excel in. 

• Don’t be afraid to ask for help, from the right sources, of course. Call out to God for help, wisdom and guidance. 

Psalm 20:1

In times of trouble, may the Lord answer your cry. May the name of the God of Jacob keep you safe from all harm.

• As you are lead ask people that have been through what you are going through and have come out better because or in-spite of it. Find those that can mentor you into the best version of you and don’t forget to be a person who is teachable. Seek advice from someone that knows more than you in the area of your trial and that is successful in it (according to the standards you live by). Above all else consult God before doing and saying anything when faced with trials.

Proverbs 16:9 NLT

We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps

Many times we look at the trials we face as something meant to end us. We look at them like they were sent to destroy every part of us. It is my belief that our trials are meant to get rid of the things in us that stop our progression. I also believe that they are meant to help us mature in our faith and in life, in general.

Romans 5:3-5 NLT

We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.

Ultimately I believe that we are meant to grow through the trials we face and develop the things needed in order to face them each time they arise.