S U R R E N D E R

A word that has been on my heart (if I were to be honest) for a few months now.

Again, I’d like to be honest and say that even as a believer this word can definitely make one cringe, and bask all at the same time. Cringe, not because it’s a horrible word but because of what may come with surrender.

Surrender:

: the action of yielding one’s person or giving up the possession of something especially into the power of another

: the relinquishment by a patentee of rights or claims under a patent

In the beginning of our walk with God we give our life to Him, surrendering it all at His feet, just to be closer to Him, just to have more of Him. We withhold nothing and we don’t count the cost of our “yes”, we are so desperate, so hungry and so needy of Him that surrendering to him is all we truly want.

We surrender who we are to the King, exchanging who we are for who He says that we are. At that moment we think, “that’s it! I’ve done it! I have surrendered my all to Him!” We continue on our walk with Him and find out that along the journey there is more of surrendering to do and contrary to our own belief of “I’ve given it all to Jesus” at that initial encounter with Him. “What else is there to give? Right?!”

In most cases, that belief becomes so wrong over time. What I am learning is that along the journey we acquire more. More things, more belongings, more plans, more idols and more that we choose to hold dear to us. And like Abraham (in Genesis 22), there are test that come with that more, the more that He has blessed us with.

One of the questions I believe that Jesus continually ask us as His disciples and followers is “Do you love me?” (John 21:15-17) and the reason He does this is to give us assignment, to assign us to His plan and purposes. Our response is our surrender. What I am learning is that the deeper we get in our walk with God the more He’ll call us to surrender to Him. The more He’ll call us to give ourselves to Him without reservations. The more He’ll reveal what moves our heart strings, what attachments we have to what we didn’t even know we were attached to.

In my experience the initial feeling attached to surrender is fear. Fear of the future, fear of what is to come and fear of “what if I let go and it doesn’t go the way I wanted it to?”

Surrender is extremely uncomfortable, it stretches you to get outside of your self made box and embrace Jesus all over again. It forces us to challenge our religion. It forces us to see things the way that God does. It gets us walking in line with the true purposes of God.

Surrender, although scary can be so beautiful when we let go and let God. Let God have His way, let Him do His thing and allow Him to operate and flow in us the way He’d like to.

If I were to be honest, I’d have to say that I was one of those people that thought that there was a limit on our surrender, that we didn’t have to do it over and over again. Boy, was I wrong, surrender is a part of the Christian walk. It is something that continues on, something that we’ll be asked or prompted to do over and over again, with purpose and for purpose.

I can’t say that the feelings that swarm our hearts within the experience of surrender gets any better over time but what I am learning is that it is okay to acknowledge them. It is ok to feel, it is okay to express to God the moments of suspense we experience. The moments of despair, where it seems as if we’re loosing everything. It is okay to voice our expectations to Him. It is okay to talk openly with God. It is okay to surrender bit by bit and moment by moment, with one foot and then the next. Surrender isn’t a one time thing, it is a process. It is normal to wrestle within yourself about the concept of surrender. God is not allergic to you, He isn’t allergic to walking with you in the process, He is committed to our surrender and He will take His time with us. God is committed to our growth, and in our growth, no matter what it may look like.

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