There is a difference between sharing information about an individual with another because you genuinely care about what is going on with them and want to help and sharing information about an individual because you want to; 1. Butcher their character 2. Make yourself look better than them 3. Discuss the matter to make them look bad or questionable.

The scripture that comes to mind is one that you may be familiar with in one-way or another.  It goes like this: 

1 Samuel 16: 7 NLT

But the Lord said to Samuel, “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

Samuel was going to anoint a person who God told him to anoint to be king. He didn’t know who the person was but God would tell him when he arrived at the place to anoint the person. Samuel was a judge and prophet of God and had assumed, based on the appearance of one of the men that he was the man that God wanted to anoint. God told Samuel that He does not see things the way that Samuel sees them.

This is a key statement. The fact that God does not see things the way that we see them is a big deal. We may look at information about an individual as something that would disqualify them or make them look questionable and God may see that thing in a completely different way than we do. For this reason, I believe that it is extremely important that we are mindful about what we share or how we speak of others to another individual. We have to be mindful of the assumptions we make. We have to know that in the mist of being anointed, gifted, talented and knowledgeable we can still be wrong. We have to lean on God for understanding and not our own thoughts. 

The Bible teaches us to lean not on our own understanding. 

Proverbs 3:5-6 NLT

Trust in the Lord with all your heart;
do not depend on your own understanding.
Seek his will in all you do,
and he will show you which path to take.

Yes, we should also acknowledge God when we open our mouths to speak or share something regarding another individual. We have to understand that once those words exit our mouths they cannot return back to where they came from, but their harvest can.

Our words, when we use them to speak about others, says more about our hearts than it could ever say about the individual we are speaking of. Just as God doesn’t look at the outward appearance but looks at the heart in matters of blessing, He looks at the heart and its intentions when we speak. He knows our motives even when others don’t and in the end we will have to give an account for the idle words we have spoken through out our lifetime. 

Matthew 12: 36 NLT

And I tell you this, you must give an account on judgment day for every idle word you speak.

Are the words that we are speaking of others idle? Are they of no reward? Are they of no value? 

Are we careless with our words?  Are our words empty? Who do they lift up? Who do they encourage? Who do they tear down? Who do they destroy? What are the motives behind them? These are the questions we must ask ourselves, the WHY matters to God. The result of our words matter to God and because of this they should matter to us also. 

This may be a shocker to some but I am a pretty quiet person. I speak when I need to, but I am mostly silent throughout the day asking God to speak to my heart, show me my heart and the heart of those around me. I ask him to show me what I am missing, what I am not getting in this life. So most days, I’ll speak to those that I HAVE TO have communication with and commune with God for the bulk of it. I believe with all my heart that if you are quiet enough you can hear the heart of others. You can hear what a person is not saying by what they are saying and you can tell a lot about a person by just listening to them speak. I also believe that if we ask God to reveal ourselves to ourselves, He will. We may not always like what He reveals. I don’t know about you, but I rather honesty over a lie, any day. I rather know that my heart is filthy than walk around believing that I am the greatest thing since sliced bread and in actuality my heart is really in a disgusting state. 

Ephesians 5:19 NLT

singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs among yourselves, and making music to the Lord in your hearts.

In the Bible there is a story told that displays the heart of two individuals through their personal prayers. This is what I mean by being able to tell a lot about a person by the way they speak and what they say. 

There were two men that prayed to God in the Bible,

One knew his condition and prayed according to it and another assumed the condition of his heart and left the same way he arrived. I never want to assume my heart is good before God and others; I want it to be tried and tested until I am pure gold. There is an image of Christ bride, the bride He is coming back for that is without spot, without wrinkle and without blemish. I want to be that bride. The only way that I can do this is by truly allowing God’s word to take root in me.

Ephesians 5:27 NLT

He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault.

Luke 18:10-14 NLT

“Two men went to the Temple to pray. One was a Pharisee, and the other was a despised tax collector. The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed this prayer: ‘I thank you, God, that I am not like other people—cheaters, sinners, adulterers. I’m acertainly not like that tax collector! I fast twice a week, and I give you a tenth of my income.’

“But the tax collector stood at a distance and dared not even lift his eyes to heaven as he prayed. Instead, he beat his chest in sorrow, saying, ‘O God, be merciful to me, for I am a sinner.’ I tell you, this sinner, not the Pharisee, returned home justified before God. For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”

May we know the condition of our OWN hearts, turn from our wicked ways and humble ourselves under the direction and guidance of God. 

Matthew 12:34 NLT

…For whatever is in your heart determines what you say

The Bible tells us that our words should be seasoned with salt.

Colossians 4:6 NIV

Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.

Colossians 4:6 NLT

Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone.

Salt is often used in the Bible as a word to describe the believer. It is a word that is used to represent the attractiveness that a believer should possess. This attractiveness is represented by our speech in Colossians 4:6. It is important that our speech is attractive, which means that it should be gracious, courteous, genuine and respectful. Salt adds good flavor to food. In the same way our words should add good flavor to the image of others and should attest to what God sees in them.

When we measure our words to the standard that the Word of God raises, we will know the difference.

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